


House of the Hogman

by SBlev92



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Ficlet, Halloween, Light-Hearted, Misunderstandings, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 20:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12540656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SBlev92/pseuds/SBlev92
Summary: Young friends Jamison, Angie, Lena, Lucio, and Jesse are preparing for a fun night of trick-or-treating, and they seem to have everything planned. Especially important is their plan to avoid the house of the Hogman, an evil mutant who feeds children to his pet warthog! Of course, Jesse didn't hear that part and goes knocking at his door. Will the children become food themselves this Halloween, or are some urban legends just not true at all?





	House of the Hogman

There was a knock at the Fawkes family door. The kids were all suited up for their big night of trick-or-treating; Angie wore her witch costume for the second year in a row, Lena was ready with her homemade pilot costume; and Lucio, the new kid, was wearing his bright green frog outfit which…well, the important thing was, _he_ liked it!

“Where’s Jesse? He’s supposed to meet us at Jamison’s like we do every year.” Lena said.

“Ugh, he’s always late to everything!” Angie rolled her eyes. “Ever since his watch got stuck at 12:00.” Finally after a moment, the door opened.

“Oh, you must be Jamison’s friends!” Mrs. Fawkes said in her usual perky tone. “Jamison, your little friends are here!”

“Mom, quit calling them that, I’m nine!” Jamison said, stomping down the stairs in his purple-and-blue jester outfit.

“What’s the matter, don’t want to ‘say hello to your little friends’?” Lucio joked, pointing finger guns at his friend.

“Shut up Lucio. By the way, your costume looks stupid.” Jamison wasn’t as discreet as the others. “Alright before we head out, come into the kitchen. There’s something I gotta show you guys!”

The others followed him into the kitchen and sat down. Jamison dug into his pocket and pulled out a large, very crumpled piece of paper, which he flung onto the table.

“Okay, since it got dark last year before we got to the good houses, this year I drew up a map of the neighborhood. This way we can get the most candy before it gets too late. Alright, the houses I’ve circled are the heavy-hitters: ya know, the ones that hand out tons of candy and full-sized chocolate bars; we need to make sure we hit them first. The ones I’ve scribbled out are the ones that just don’t do trick-or-treat, and the ones I’ve X-ed out are the houses we need to avoid like the plague. This first one here is the Zaryanova house.”

“The weird pink-haired Russian lady?” Lena asked.

“Yup. And she’s a _tremendous_ health nut so unless you like apple slices and trail mix in your bucket, I’d steer clear. The second no-go is the Ziegler house, Angie’s mom and dad.”

“Aww, why?” she complained.

“Um, hello? Your dad’s a dentist, he’ll give us toothbrushes!” Jamison retorted.

“No he won’t…he’ll give you floss.”

“What about that third X?” Lucio asked.

“ _That_ is the home of Mr. Rutledge.” Jamison said in a grim tone, prompting gasps from the girls.

“Who’s that?” Lucio asked. 

“You’ve never heard of Mr. Rutledge?” Angie sounded confused. “Some people call him the Hogman. He’s a horrible mutant whose face looks like a wild boar!” 

“Some say he was born that way, others say it was radiation that did it to him!” Lena added. “Whatever it was, his mind was mutated too, making him totally crazy.”

Jamison cut her off so he could say the last part. “And the worst thing is, on Halloween night he waits by the door for trick-or-treaters. Then, when you ring his doorbell, he grabs you, drags you into his house and feeds you to his pet warthog. Oh, and he’ll eat all your candy afterwards!”

“Oh no!” Lucio gasped.

“Oh yes.” Smiled Jamison. “That’s why we’ll make sure not to go to Mr. Rutledge’s house, and we stay on the other side of the street. Because he peeks out his window every so often and if he sees your face, he’ll come to your house at night and getcha!”

“Jamison, are you scaring your friends with crazy stories?” Mrs. Fawkes walked in.

“Uh, no mom! Just giving them trick-or-treat tips!” he replied.

“Alright, well you kids better be getting out there. It’s already 6:30!” she said. Jamison crumpled up the map and threw it in his bucket, and the four children hurried out the door. As they strolled down the sidewalk, they saw a figure running up to them.

“Guys, wait for me!” Jesse yelled, half out of breath.

“Well, look who decided to show up!” Angie snarked.

“You came as a cowboy _again_!?” Lena said. “You’ve been a cowboy every year for forever!”

“Hey, I like being a cowboy. It feels so…me!” Jesse replied.

“Well whatever, come on we’ve got trick-or-treating to do!” Jamison said. Following his map, they hit all the cool houses in the neighborhood. Old Woman Amari’s was first, as she was _very_ generous with the candy, practically dumping half a family-sized bag into each kid’s bucket. Next was Mr. Wilhelm who always gave the kids large chocolate hammers; they were heavy, but who’s going to turn down pounds of solid chocolate? Mr. Reyes, their P.E. teacher, was next on the list; the candy he gave out was nothing special but his yard decorations were always so cool and scary that the kids just had to stop by.

Then, there was Old Man Morrison. He was a grumpy guy who didn’t decorate for Halloween except for one uncarved pumpkin sitting neglected on his porch, but the candy he gave out was to die for. It was some weird brand of “old person” candy that isn’t really popular anymore, but it tasted delicious! And yes, the kids did end up going to Angie’s house (because she kept begging them to do so), and yes he did give them floss.

“Wow, my bucket’s getting full and it’s only 7:00!” Lena remarked.

“I know, mine too.” Said Jamison. “I think we should go back home and empty these out real quick before finishing up.”

“Hang on, I wanna hit that house first!” Jesse took off across the street. Jamison’s heart dropped when he saw which house Jesse was headed for.

“Oh no, Jesse wasn’t there when I was talking about the Hogman! He doesn’t know!” The four went to warn him, but it was too late. He’d already rang on the doorbell, only for it to immediately fling open, revealing a large and menacing figure. He said something indistinguishable to a wide-eyed Jesse, and their friend slowly walked in the house, the door closing behind him.

“The Hogman’s got Jesse!” Angie said. “We gotta save him!”

“Are you crazy?” Jamison whispered. “He’ll get us too. Let’s just call the cops.”

“They’ll take too long to get here.” She replied. “We have to do something _now_!”

“Well I’m not going.” Jamison said, crossing his arms. “He shoulda ran when the door opened!”

“Well if you won’t do anything, we will!” said Angie. “Lena, Lucio, come on!” The three of them slowly crept towards the house while Jamison watched from across the street.

“Lucio, don’t do it man!” Jamison attempted to dissuade him.

“Sorry dude, but Jesse was the first person to talk to me when I came to this school. If I don’t save him, what kinda friend does that make me?”

Jamison watched in terror as his friends snuck up to the front door, slowly opened it, and disappeared inside. He stood there watching that house for what seemed like at least fifteen minutes, and his friends had yet to emerge.

“Ooooh, this isn’t good! What if the Hogman got them too!? Maybe I can just peek through his window!” Jamison cautiously crept to the side of the house, only to find the side window was up higher than he thought, keeping him from seeing inside. However he could hear two creepy voices inside.

“Honey, are they almost done?” The Hogman grunted.

“I just put them in the oven, dear!” An unexpected female voice said. “It takes these things a while to bake all the way through.”

“Oh no!” Jamison said to himself. “Hogman has a wife, and she’s _baking_ the guys! Okay let’s see: two grown up psychos and a vicious warthog, and I’m a 4th grader with hardly any muscle. Yeah, my odds aren’t good here, but I gotta do _something_!”

Reminding himself over and over what a bad idea this was, Jamison cracked open the front door and peeked inside. Finding the living room clear, he opened it further and tiptoed in. The living room was surprisingly clean for belonging to a serial killer; the couch was new-looking, the garbage was _in_ the garbage can, and there was even a fish tank containing several red-tailed sharks, only the coolest pet fish in the world. Jamison began to sneak as quietly as he could across the living room, whispering his friends’ names, hoping someone would answer. A voice did call out, but not the one he wanted to hear.

“Ah, you must be Jamison. Your friends said you might join us!” The Hogman grunted right behind him, sending a chill up his spine. He spun around and stared up at the imposing figure of the Hogman, who surprisingly didn’t at all look like a half-man half-pig like he thought, but just looked like a normal guy. He was certainly tall, and fat, but he wasn’t a mutant.

“W-where are my friends?” Jamison shakily asked.

“Why, they’re in the kitchen of course!” Mr. Rutledge chuckled.

“L-let them g-go.” Jamison choked before finding his bravery. “Let them go _now_!”

“Go? But they just got here!” He laughed again. Suddenly, Jamison heard a shrill scream that sounded like Angie coming from the kitchen and came running. He entered the room to see a large animal attacking her!

“Angie! I’ll save you!” Jamison said. Angie screamed again, and then started laughing. Upon closer inspection, the animal wasn’t attacking her, just licking her face; it also wasn’t even a warthog, but rather a pig.

“Hey Jamison! This is Mr. Rutledge’s pot-bellied pig Warthog! He was just saying hi!”

“Oh.” Jamison said, beginning to doubt the story he’d been told. “Alright, they’re finally done! These things take so long to bake.” Mrs. Rutledge said. She turned out to be a fairly nice-looking person too, a kindly 30-something woman who had an unusual spiky hairstyle, but had a nice face nonetheless. “Okay kiddos, eat up!”

“Are those cinnamon rolls?” Jamison asked, mouth watering at the smell.

“Yup!” Lucio said, biting into his frosting-laden treat. “Come sit down, she baked one for you too!” Jamison joined his friends and they all enjoyed the delicious cinnamon rolls. He had to remember to update the map later to make sure they come back next year! After a while, the five kids said goodbye to the Rutledges and began to make their way home.

“So Jamison, where did you hear that those people were monsters?” Angie asked.

“Actually, Hanzo told me that story.” Jamison said, looking embarrassed.

“Figures.” She rolled her eyes. “Those Shimada brothers always like to cause trouble!”

When they returned to the Fawkes home, the kids decided to empty out their buckets to see just how much candy they collected that night. Four of them amassed quite a large pile (with Mr. Wilhelm’s hammer crushing most of it), however Jesse was a different story.

“Jesse!?” Lucio remarked. “You ate _all_ your candy on the way back?”

“What? I was still hungry!” Jesse answered. “Besides, if I took any of it home, I’d have to share with my little sister!”

“Well Jamison, I guess you’ve found the real _hog_ -man!” Lena said, as the others laughed.

**The End**


End file.
